rejoicing when others are flourishing

Someone recently asked me if it was hard to see others' prayers answered in the midst of mine continuing to seem unheard by God? My answer to that question is yes, and no. Yes, if I see myself as the most important person in the world, who has earned all that I have and just hasn't yet done enough for all that I don't.  If I abandon all truth and demand my right to answers in my way and in my timing.

But, as God has his way of being gracious and slow to anger with us, I believe he is teaching me some things about this very topic. It is a really slow process for the light to be shone in the dark corners and closets of my heart. There I have found that I am prone to classify people as either important towards elevating my status and value, or a threat to it. This reaches from people out walking the streets, to one time interactions, to people I have known all my life. It is ugly and not glorifying to God, but it is at the heart of what I can not change about myself, and exactly the heart of God's business to transform. This is where the rubber meets the road in my life as a Christian. I am seeing how this sinful pattern plays itself out in my life in so many ways, and how it causes anxieties, fear, laziness and indifference, lack of love, I could go on. The next layer is how I see God responding to me and others around me, and how I believe his love too is directly proportional to the value that I place on others. For example, something good happens to someone on "important" status, it threatens my position and value. This even plays itself out in comparison of spiritual health & vitality of myself and others. But (cue redemption bell now) as God is moving my heart to simply see this pattern, he is also planting seeds of change towards bearing fruit! Seeds. Slow process. Lots of tending, lots of watering. The fruit of repentance and faith is a changed view of those around me, and of myself. The grace that God offers to give us our life in him and to allow us to flourish is for all of his children, for all those who fear him (trust in) him and call upon his name. The grace and mercy that he gives to one by answering their prayer, is the same grace he offers to us who wait. No less, and no more. It is infinite and deep, and when others flourish, we can rejoice. It is possible, as I am getting a taste. In the end, if I am honest, even when my prayers go unanswered in human terms, there is so much to be thankful for. There is flourishing in the midst of suffering too. A friend recently left this book on my doorstep, so sweet. "One Thousand Gifts" by Ann Voskamp.