waiting

This has been such a long season of waiting for me. Waiting for career direction, waiting for real estate client's homes to sell, waiting for the right home to purchase, waiting for the right guy, waiting for the man to deliver our refrigerator, waiting, waiting. I have come to stand on the edge of the abyss in many ways, to the place of "I can't wait any longer, not one more day, why isn't God showing up to give me some clear answers?" and then another day goes by. I found an email that I wrote to several family members in March of 2009, where I know I was at least 6 months in to the place of desperation and asking for their prayers. And now, here I am, two years later, with few answers and more questions. I've gone through many stages and still continue to waver in my faith often and question God's goodness. My youngest brother Philip reminded me last night of the Pharisees asking Jesus if a certain man was born blind because he or his parents sinned? and Jesus reply was, "neither, but that the works of God may be displayed in him". I am slowly praying that God's power and works would be displayed in my life no matter what may happen in my circumstances. I'm so thankful to have such a wonderful family. 


"Whenever Moses held up his hand, Israel prevailed, and whenever he lowered his hand, Amalek prevailed. But Moses’ hands grew weary, so they took a stone and put it under him, and he sat on it, while Aaron and Hur held up his hands, one on one side, and the other on the other side. So his hands were steady until the going down of the sun. And Joshua overwhelmed Amalek and his people with the sword." Exodus 17:11-13