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are you kidney-ing me??

Sunday morning one of my kidneys decided it was tired of taking a back seat. I woke up with the most horrific pain in my side and couldn't do anything to make it stop. Not even a rousing episode of Downton Abbey would distract. Two hours later it was time to call Mom. In typical Parker fashion she suggested I drink some Peppermint tea and said she would bring me some on her way to church. By the time she came, I couldn't think straight and was ready for the hospital. We headed over and waited an ER hour before anyone would see me. The pain was brutal at this point! First thing the nurse asks me, "you been out drinkin' a lot last night?" To which I responded, "no, just watching a little PBS". I seriously thought I was going to die. Once we walked back toward a room, all of a sudden, the pain stopped. I felt really dumb. What if it was just last night's Willy's acting up? But just in case it really was my appendix...
The best part was the adorable doctor who came to talk with me and the worst part was how disgusting I was looking at that moment. You have to know I was in the most serious pain of my life because I left the house without contacts, make up, half in my pajamas, didn't even brush my teeth. So here are my parents standing at the foot of the bed with huge grins while the doc tells me what is going to happen next. As soon as he leaves my Dad points to his 4th finger and smiles, "no ring"....okay Dad, great time to troll the ER for single doctors. In the end it was just a kidney stone and I am very thankful. The most embarrassing moment was definitely the doc walking in on, not naked, but watching "Say Yes To The Dress" on the hospital TV and commenting, "seriously". It was pretty funny. So, that was a whirlwind adventure with a probable $7500 price tag. Yay! They want me to bring them the stone (spare you the details here) so that they can examine it and in the worst of my thriftiest brother Nathan, I should tell them it's gonna cost 'em! My deductible to be exact. And hey, they say it's like labor pain, so maybe I need to go register now to celebrate that it's over.

My new best friend, 4X a day! I'm also quitting caffeine, which is really tragic. I might have an entire post dedicated to grieving the loss.


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